Disclaimers: I do not own Torchwood or any of its characters.  I am making no money from this.  It is purely for entertainment
purposes only.

Summary: Ianto has a secret.  Set during series one, after Cyberwoman.

Warnings:  MPREG!!  I am a HUGE fan of Mpreg.  There are also hints of past child abuse.

Notes: Please remember that I am just another stupid American.  Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors as I must rely
solely on my own knowledge.

More notes: Spoilers for Countrycide.  This is an AU, so I had to alter some events to suit my own purposes.



Expectations



Part Ten



Ianto sighed as he buttoned his shirt.  Owen and Jack were currently arguing, and Ianto hoped that Owen would win said
argument.  He honestly didn't want to go traipsing about through the Brecon Beacons.

"I think you're a loony!" Owen was yelling.  "Let the police handle it.  We're Torchwood, not Lost and Found or a bloody
missing persons' department!"  He made a vague angry motion with his hands.  "All that aside, I don't want Ianto going.  He
should stay here and put his feet up while we're out there.  Might do him a bit of good to have a little freedom to relax around
here without someone constantly badgering him for a coffee or a file or the like."

Ianto smiled as he straightened his clothing.  To the doctor's credit, Owen's own demands for coffee had diminished a great
deal, and they were usually used to do a quick test to check how Ianto was doing.  A sneaky way to see if he was tired or in
pain or some other form of discomfort.

At the moment, Ianto was getting dressed after Owen performed his weekly scan.  Everything had come up fine again, though
his vitamins had to be altered.  He'd have a few more pills to swallow each morning.

Jack sighed.  "Look.  If the rift is expanding, we need to know.  And this is a great way for the team to do something together.  
It's a cakewalk.  This is just the sort of thing that Ianto should be able to handle during his first time out with us.  I'd let him stay
here, but I'd rather have him where you can take care of him if something should go wrong."

Owen turned away and the sound of a pen scratching on paper could be heard a moment before he handed said paper to Jack.  
"Here.  I want it put on record that I'm against this idiotic idea.  Ianto doesn't need any added stress."

Ianto sighed.  "Ianto is standing right here, in case you have forgotten.  I'm pregnant, and not dying as far as you can tell."

Owen growled but didn't say anything.

Jack chuckled and picked up the piece of paper.  He read it quickly and let out a laugh.  "Your comment is duly noted, Owen.  
Though I don't think it's physically possible to do this to myself."  He turned and clapped Ianto on the shoulder gently.  "Who
knows, Ianto?  The fresh country air might do you some good."

Owen made a gagging noise before clearing his throat.  "Before the girls get in, would you like to know what it is?"  He still
seemed angry, but at least he had dropped the subject.

Ianto frowned, confused.  He was certain that Owen was talking to him.  "What?"

"The baby."  Owen made a vague waving gesture.  "Do you want to know what it is?  A boy or a girl, that is."

Ianto looked down at himself.  He couldn't see his stomach, as it was now concealed by the properties of the ring, but he knew
it was there.  He flattened his hands against himself, lost in thought.  "Yeah," he responded, his voice barely a whisper.

Owen smiled and sat down, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.  "By the looks of it, there's going to be an Ianto
Jones Junior in a few months."  He brought up an image on his computer screen, enlarging it.  "Congratulations.  You're going to
have a boy."  He smirked.  "Do you want me to look up stores that sell tiny suits for babies now or later?"

Ianto couldn't answer.  He was spellbound by the image on the screen.  The techs at Torchwood One had never let him see the
images that the scans produced, so each one Owen showed him was treasured.  "Wow."

Jack was by his side, grinning like a lunatic.  "Now that's a beautiful way to start the morning!"  He patted Ianto's shoulder
again.  "Now brew up some coffee and get to work.  Tosh will be in any second, and unless you've changed your mind about
letting her in on this joyful news, you don't want her catching you ogling a scan of an unborn baby."

"You know, Torchwood One probably saved copies of the earlier images.  I'm sure Tosh could find them quick."  Owen's tone
was that of someone trying to make you buy something you didn't entirely want.

Ianto gave the medic a dark look.  He wasn't about to get into this again.  "Don't start."  With that, he turned and headed for the
coffee machine to start his daily tasks.  He paused to take a deep calming breath when he reached initial destination.  Damn
Owen for presenting that little bit of temptation.  He wasn't going to be coerced into telling anyone about his condition, even if
Tosh could easily get the information he wanted and Owen needed.  He'd get it himself.  He just needed time.

The next few hours passed by rapidly.  Ianto served the team coffee when they all arrived.  They were all in far earlier than
normal, at barely six in the morning, and could all do with a dose of caffeine.  He drank his own, courtesy of Tosh once again,
under Owen's watchful eyes, then went back to packing up the SUV for the trip.  Jack surprised him a few minutes later by
helping.

Ianto had gotten most of it done the previous night.  He'd been sleeping better lately, even if he was more likely to get a decent
rest in the Hub rather than in his own home.  However, last night hadn't been a good night.  He'd spent hours tossing and turning
on the cramped camp bed.  The idea of being away from the Hub, and the medical equipment it contained, worried him.  Owen
might be a good doctor, but he still needed supplies to work with.

Jack stopped him as he was trying to lift one of the tents into the back.  Ianto was looking forward to Owen's reaction to the
fact that they were camping out.  Owen and camping did not belong in the same sentence.

"I'll get the rest.  Why don't you sit and take a breather."

Ianto wanted to object, but he was too tired.  So he just nodded and climbed into the backseat.  He didn't sit.  He dropped onto
his back and closed his eyes.  He would have slept if not for the jolting of the SUV as Jack packed everything in.

Outside, he could hear and feel as Jack tossed the equipment in.  He dreaded the mess he'd find when he unloaded it at the
campsite.  In all likelihood Jack was just throwing things in wherever he could with no care for organization.

Jack.  Ianto scrunched his nose at the thought of the other man.  He had been thinking about Jack a lot recently.  Ever since he
had made a fool of himself in Jack's office.

He had kissed the man!

Ianto felt like a fool.  And there was a gnawing guilt eating away at his insides.  He felt he had betrayed Lisa.  Gone barely more
than one and a half months and he was already lusting after someone else.  Why did it have to be Jack Harkness of all people?  
Ianto had finally gotten over his anger at the swaggering Captain.  This attraction he felt might be too much to deal with.

With a groan, he threw an arm across his eyes.  He was pathetic and this entire thing was ridiculous.  Why did he have to want
Jack so badly?

As if summoned by his thoughts, Jack was suddenly there.  "You okay, Ianto?" he asked, slapping lightly at Ianto's
denim-covered knee.  Suits were impractical for the trip to the country so he had opted for something more comfortable.

"Fine, Sir," was the automatic response.  He craned his neck to look at Jack from his prone position and noted the concern on
the handsome face.  "I hope you realize, my feet will be killing me by the end of this little jaunt to the country."  He raised an
eyebrow, then held out his hands.  He was effectively stuck.  Just because the size of his stomach was concealed didn't mean
the weight of it had vanished.  He still felt every pound he had added to his frame.  At times during the day, he had to
consciously keep himself from bracing his hands on his lower back.  Tosh and Gwen would worry if he started complaining
about back aches.

Jack chuckled as he helped Ianto sit up.   "Well, if we share a tent, I'll massage your feet if you'd like."

Ianto flushed at the suggestion and at the close proximity to the man who always smelled incredible.  Then he gave his head a
quick shake.  "No."

Jack didn't hide his disappointment.  "I was just offering a foot rub to ease the pain, Ianto.  I don't like the fact that you're in pain
a lot of the time.  Don't think I haven't seen you grimace when you think no one is watching.  I'd put you on medical leave, but
you'd go stir crazy and Gwen and Tosh would get suspicious enough that Tosh might start hacking into Owen's files."

Ianto scowled.  "Fine.  Owen's been badgering me about letting Tosh in on this.  Part of me agrees that it might be for the best,
but I'm terrified of how she'll react."  He shuddered.  "The Medical personnel at Torchwood One were bad enough, but the
Scientific staff were worse."

Jack sighed.  "Ianto, how many times do we have to tell you that you're not working for Torchwood One any more?  First off,
if someone used a piece of alien tech on one of my people as a prank, they would be retconned into prenatal mentality and
shoved into a nice mental facility that I know of that won't ask questions.  Secondly, has Owen ever once treated you as
anything other than an expecting parent?"

Ianto thought a moment before sighing and shaking his head.

Jack smiled.  "And finally, you know Tosh pretty well.  Do you honestly think she'd do anything to hurt you?"

Ianto frowned in thought.  He tried to imagine the gentle Japanese woman doing anything to hurt anyone.  At least anyone who
didn't deserve it.  Of the group, she had been the first to apologize to Jack for her silent treatment by bringing him something she
had made at home and explaining her reasons.  She had been angry at the so-called fairies, not at him.  She always had a gentle,
caring smile for everyone, and she always seemed so terribly lonely.

Ianto sighed and shook his head.  "All right, you both win.  I'll tell her after we get back from this wild-goose chase."

Jack beamed at him and looked up as Owen slammed a door open and stomped over to the SUV, followed by Tosh and Gwen.  
"All right, kids!  Hope you've all gone to the bathroom, 'cause I'm not stopping 'til we get there."

Ianto sighed and hoped the little boy he was carrying didn't decide to use his bladder as a punching bag or a squeeze toy.

For a change, luck smiled down on him and he didn't have to ask Jack to make a stop.  Nausea coiled in his stomach though,
where he sat in the back between Gwen and Tosh.  He popped a mint into his mouth and sucked on it.  He'd found the little
candies helped with the nausea.  Now he always kept some on hand.  It was better than to constantly run off to empty his
stomach.  As a result, he'd been able to eat better, which in turn got Owen off his back about his low weight, since he'd
managed to put on a few pounds.  Owen had declared him to be a healthy weight now.  Ianto just felt obscenely fat.  Owen
assured him that with his frame, it was necessary for his body to grow a bit more than a woman would.  His body wasn't
naturally made for this and had to create more comfortable surroundings for the fetus.

He turned his eyes to the window and watched the passing scenery, trying not to find amusement in Owen's persistent
complaints.  He couldn't stop a smile or two though.

Jack didn't say anything as Ianto started unpacking the SUV once they had reached their destination.  Owen kept throwing him
dirty looks but thankfully kept his mouth shut.  Ianto was sure he was in for a lecture later.

He was hungry.  That burger he'd had earlier hadn't been enough to quell his appetite.  His morning sickness had mostly stopped
now, a fact he was most definitely grateful for.

When Gwen started up that stupid game, Ianto's mood shifted.  Hurt and sorrow welled up inside of him.  Guilt bit at his
insides.  He let his misery speak for him and didn't regret the way it seemed to bring everyone else down as well.

Jack's penetrating gaze bore through him.  Ianto made some lame excuse to Tosh about checking on the equipment after Owen
and Gwen had gone off into the woods.

He sank heavily onto one of the two camp beds occupying the tent and wiped at his moist eyes.  He wasn't going to cry.  He
refused to start bawling like an infant for no reason.

Jack threw aside the flap and stalked into the tent, shooting an icy glare at Ianto.  "What the hell was that about?" he hissed.

Ianto uneasily stood up and turned away from the irate man.  "I couldn't very well tell the truth, could I?" he scoffed, allowing a
single bitter laugh.  "That would go over well, wouldn't it?  They'd either think I was lying, or just another in a long line of your
conquests."  He choked, fighting the urge to cry.  "Or worse, that I'm just a pathetic traitor trying to sleep my way back into
your good graces."

Jack stepped around him until he was face to face with Ianto.  His eyes were softer now, kinder.  "Was that why?"  He lifted a
hand slowly toward Ianto's face.

Ianto slapped it away.  "She deserves to be remembered!" he snapped, his voice a seething hiss.  All of the pain and sorrow was
bearing down on him and he couldn't take it anymore.  His knotted, confused feelings for Jack only added to the hollowing
chasm that threatened to consume him from the inside out.  Finally, unable to contain it, his violently swaying emotions getting
the better of him, he let it all tumble out.

"I'm forgetting her, Jack," he said miserably.  "She's only been gone a month and a half and she's already fading away.  I want
you and I shouldn't.  Not after Lisa.  She was everything.  She still should be."  He was reduced to tears halfway through and by
the end was certain that his sobs made him incoherent.

Jack said nothing.  His arms went around Ianto and pulled him close.  Ianto sank into the embrace, his thick tears soaking into
the fabric of the Captain's greatcoat.

Then Jack's voice came to him, his hands soothing up and down Ianto's back.  "You won't forget her, Ianto.  Not ever.  You'll
always carry her in your heart."

"I'm tired, Jack.  Of feeling like this, of everything."  He twisted his fists in Jack's coat, holding onto it like a lifeline.  "What do I
do?"

Jack leaned back and smiled comfortingly.  He kissed him on the forehead, then on either of his cheeks where his tears had left
tracks in the pasty pallor.  They were mere millimeters apart when Jack spoke.

"You live, Ianto."  He placed his palm against Ianto's stomach, punctuating his words with a light rub.  "You've already got
someone who loves you unconditionally just waiting to meet you face to face."

They were so close and Jack smelled too good.  The words Jack spoke made something in his chest catch.  He couldn't hope to
resist the urge that overcame him.  Hell, he didn't even try to.  Instead, he followed his instincts and kissed Jack.

It was sweet and as chaste as one could get when massaging another man's tongue with your own.  Jack pulled away first, far
too soon in Ianto's opinion, that flirtatious smile still curling his lips.  He cupped Ianto's face with his hands, simply smiling at
him.

Ianto broke the quiet with a bark of laughter.  "My timing couldn't be any worse, could it?  Here I am, pregnant and mourning
and I'm practically throwing myself at you."

"I don't know, could be worse."  He hummed and wiped the rest of Ianto's tears away with his thumbs.  "But we should
probably wait.  When you're ready, we can pick up right where we've left off."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jack threw an arm around Ianto's shoulders.  "We better get back to work."  They walked out of the tent, just in time to hear
Gwen yelling.



*****



Ianto sat on the boot of the recently recovered SUV.  He almost couldn't believe how horribly the day had gone.  Everything had
gone to shit, starting with that body Gwen and Owen had found in the woods.  The theft of the SUV and that agonizing hike
they'd taken to locate it.  His feet and ankles were still throbbing.

He was almost grateful that he hadn't gone with Tosh when the team had split up.  Owen and Jack had been adamant that he
stay with them.  Ianto knew it was only because of the baby, not that they really needed him for anything.  If anything went
wrong, only one of them would be able to help him.

Tosh had gone along with the idea easily enough.  She'd smiled at Ianto and patted him on the arm before heading off.  But
Gwen, she had made an issue of it.  Jack wouldn't be deterred though, no matter how much she argued.

Ianto looked over to Gwen now.  He watched as Owen and the other medics fussed over her.  She looked terrible.  Broken ribs,
head trauma and more bruises than Ianto could list.  She had been beaten by those cannibals, but Ianto couldn't feel more than a
perfunctory amount of concern for her.  He had his own worries.

He looked away and brought a hand to his side.  He hadn't fared much better than her.  Shot by a stupid scared little bastard
while searching the village.  He choked, raising bloodied hands to his eyes.  The baby hadn't kicked for a while.  What if it was
dead?  Owen said the wounds were shallow, and most of the shot had only grazed him, but what if he'd been wrong?  All day,
since it happened, that was all he could think of.  Not the murders, or the cannibals, or the horror of finding out an entire town
was responsible for all of these atrocities.  The only thing on his mind was the baby, HIS baby.

"Shit!" Jack's voice boomed close-by.  "You're bleeding again.  Owen!"

Hands gripped him and moved him to lie down.  Owen hovered over him, peeling back the bandage and inspecting the wounds.  
Jack's fingers were carding through his hair, soothing his tormented mind.

Ianto was only partially dismayed when reality slowly drifted into blackness.



To Be Continued ...