Disclaimers: I do not own Torchwood or any of its characters.  I am making no money from this.  It is purely for entertainment
purposes only.

Summary: Ianto has a secret.  Set during series one, after Cyberwoman.

Warnings:  MPREG!!  I am a HUGE fan of Mpreg.  There are also hints of past child abuse.

Notes: Please remember that I am just another stupid American.  Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors as I must
rely solely on my own knowledge.



Expectations



Part Eighteen



Ianto remained silent as Owen went through the routine tests.  He kept thinking that one of the women would be poking their
heads in at any moment to gape at him.  While he was certain they wouldn't invade his privacy, it was a very valid concern.  He
just wanted to hide in the archives for the next few months.  He sometimes felt that his body wasn't his own.  Looking down at
his stomach, he acknowledged that this was one of those times.

Owen was also silent for the most part.  He only spoke when telling Ianto what he was doing.  He was obviously aware of how
upset Ianto was, and didn't seem to desire agitating him further.  Ianto felt somewhat grateful for that.

It wasn't until Owen brought out a familiar gel that Ianto actually smiled.

Owen smiled back.  "All right, Ianto.  Time for your favorite part of these tests."

And he was right.  Despite how cold and slightly disgusting the gel always felt going on, he was eager to see how his unborn
son was growing.  As usual, he was awestruck by the image on the screen.  It didn't look any different than the last scan, but
that wasn't really the point.  His son.  That was his son.

"Bet you anything the two women will want to see pictures."

Ianto sighed and tore his eyes away from the screen.  He wasn't really looking forward to that possibility.  As much as he hated
having to tell Tosh and Gwen about his pregnancy or to let them see how different his body looked because of it, he wanted to
show them images of his son even less.  And God forbid either of them asking to feel his stomach.  He shuddered at the mere
thought.  He did not want his stomach prodded and touched as if it were a ripe melon.

"They can't have everything they want.  They wanted to know what was going on with me, and I've told them."  He felt that
they should be satisfied with that.

Owen grinned briefly and proceeded to help Ianto wipe the gel off of his stomach.  He changed the subject.  "By now Jack's told
Tosh about the files."

"I know," Ianto said.  "Jack told me earlier, before you came in, that he was going to.  He didn't want to go behind my back."

Owen let him up then tossed him his shirt.  "Well, everything looks all right here.  You can get back to work."

Ianto nodded.  He pushed himself up and dressed.  However, he found himself lingering in the medic's work area.  There was
something on his mind, something he felt that he had to talk about with Owen, but honestly dreaded with every fiber of his
being.  He knew instinctively that this would not go over well.  He wouldn't have brought it up now, but what Jack had said in
the locker room nagged at his mind.  He had to know whether it was safe to go further with Jack.  Would there be a danger to
the baby?

He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, glancing nervously between the doctor and the screen that shielded them from view of the
rest of the Hub.  Owen had his back to him and was scribbling something into his file.

"Okay, what is it?" Owen asked, not so much as pausing to look at Ianto, or to stop writing.

Ianto felt his ears warming.  "Ah, well."  He cleared his throat.  "I have a question.  A, uh, medical question."

Owen turned to regard him then.  He set the folder down and walked to stand in front of him.  "Yeah?  What?"

Looking at Owen was only making Ianto more nervous.  He dropped his head, unable to look at the other man's face.  "Well, I
was wondering.  Do you think ... I mean, is it safe to," he swallowed loudly, his throat suddenly feeling dry.  He was mortified
that he even had to bring up this subject.  And with Owen of all people.  "Is it safe for me to ... have sex?"

One of Jack's reasons for stopping earlier was for the safety of the baby.  And Ianto was just as concerned.  He didn't want to
endanger his child's development.

Silence.

Ianto risked a glance up.  Owen was staring at him blankly.  There was no anger in his features, no emotion whatsoever
actually.  Then Owen shook his head and Ianto could see it.  The medic's eyes were blazing, but that was the only show of his
irritation.  Ianto wondered if it was aimed at him, or at Jack.

"Bloody Jack," Owen muttered.

Well, that answered that question.

"It's my decision, Owen," Ianto said, dropping his hands to the cold metal table and clenching his fingers around the edge.  "I
know you mean well, but-"

Owen cut him off. "Since you're not a woman, there's less of a chance of getting a bacterial infection with anal sex."  He was
grimacing as he spoke, as if the topic was distasteful to him.  "Medically, I don't see any reason why you can't.  But I
recommend you be careful.  If you feel any discomfort or pain, you should stop."

Ianto nodded.  He hadn't wanted to have this conversation, but he knew it was necessary.  He did want to continue with Jack
and he didn't think he could wait around for three more months until after the baby was born.  Given Jack's appetite, he didn't
think the Captain would wait either, no matter how often he said that he would.  Jack was openly sexual.  He'd get bored.  Ianto
didn't want to risk that.

He rubbed the back of his neck.  God, he needed a good shag.  Hell, he'd settle for a bad one.  Or a blow-job.  Anything.  He
wanted to get off and he wanted to do it with Jack.  He attributed this sudden desire to hormones and then grimaced at the idea
of it.  That his body was so out of his control was rather unpleasant.  When he wasn't crying for no apparent reason, he often
found himself debating over the idea of tracking down Jack and dragging him down to that bunker of his.

He had to get over his fears and do something soon or he would go mad.  He wanted Jack, but he was afraid of actually doing
anything.  It was insane really.  He knew what would be happening.  He'd had enough friends, gay and straight, that had bragged
about conquests, eager to tell all to any willing and sometimes unwilling audience.  It wasn't the actual act itself that frightened
him.  But going that last step, giving Jack that last piece of him, it was a frightening prospect.

And then there was Lisa.  Was it too soon after her death?  He should be mourning her, not chasing after his boss like a randy
teenager.  Was it right that he wanted Jack so badly?  She'd only been gone a couple of months.

Owen grabbed his chin and turned his head until he was staring straight at the medic.  Ianto blinked at him, a bit confused.

"You be careful," Owen said.  "Don't push yourself."  He let go and stepped away, putting his back to Ianto again as he fiddled
with something Ianto couldn't see clearly from where he was.  He cleared his throat loudly.  "Get me a coffee, will you?"

Ianto smiled, recognizing Owen's behavior for what it was.  He was giving Ianto something to do, getting him out of the medical
bay for one and to give him a good excuse not to stand around without a purpose anywhere near the two women.  He knew they
were just waiting for an opportunity to throw questions at him.  At least Gwen was.  Tosh might be a bit more discreet.  And
she was probably busy now with the files from One.

He slid down off the table.  He went up the stairs, back to work.  Tosh didn't so much as look up from her work.  Gwen
noticed him though and looked about ready to open her mouth and say something.  But Ianto was easily able to avoid any
conversation as he quickly retreated to the safety of the kitchenette.

Standing there by the coffee machine, he rubbed at his eyes.  He unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn.  He was tired.  Despite the
early hour, all he wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep for the rest of the day.

As he filled the cups, he contemplated what he should do.  About Jack.  About the baby.  About everything that came to his
mind as he made the team their drinks by habit alone.  Why did everything have to be so complicated?



*****



Jack hadn't lied when he'd said he was off to do paperwork.  He had only delayed the chore a bit by having that chat with
Toshiko.  Now, he was sitting glumly behind his desk, double-checking case files and expense reports.  What he wouldn't give
for a rift opening or a weevil on the loose.  Not that he wanted anyone to get hurt or killed.  He just wanted a distraction from
the mundane tasks that sometimes bogged him down.  Being a leader wasn't all heroics.  There were paperwork and meetings.  
Budgets and hundreds of other little details that bored Jack to no end.

A sharp rap to the door answered his prayers.  Ianto Jones stood framed in the doorway, holding a steaming mug of piping hot
coffee.  Jack beamed at him as he entered.  He raked his eyes up and down that attractive form, his eyes settling about Ianto's
middle.  Jack couldn't help but appreciate the rounded swell of the younger man's body.  It might not be natural for Ianto, but he
looked amazing in Jack's opinion.

Jack wasn't unfamiliar with the sight of a pregnant man.  In the fifty-first century, it was an altogether common occurrence.  He
had been pregnant himself.  Jack stopped that train of thought before it could go any further.  There was no use dwelling on the
past and the things and people he had left behind.  Instead, he set down his pen and gave Ianto his undivided attention.

"Jack, I think we should talk," Ianto said, closing the office doors behind him.  He carefully walked over to the desk and set
Jack's coffee down.

"I think those are the most frightening words I've heard in a long while," Jack said, still smiling.

Ianto's lips twitched, but he didn't smile.  He sat, casting his eyes about Jack's desk, at anything other than Jack himself.  He
was nervous.  It didn't take a genius to see that.

Jack decided to break the tense silence.  "What did you want to talk about, Ianto?  I'm sure it wasn't about the decor of my
office, although you do seem to be engrossed in it."  He kept his tone light and teasing in the hope of putting the younger man at
ease, if only a little bit.

The Welshman glanced quickly at him and then seemed to find the surface of the desk far more interesting.  "I've, uh, been
talking to Owen."

Jack was intrigued when Ianto's face started to go red from a blush.  "Of course you have.  He is your doctor, and you did have
an exam today."  He had an idea what the subject Ianto wanted to talk about was, but he knew that pressuring Ianto would just
make the Welshman clam up.

"About sex," Ianto blurted and his face went redder.

When the younger man said nothing further, Jack decided to give him an option.  "Do you want me to guess at the entirety of
the conversation, or do you want to tell me about it?"

Ianto growled.  "How can you be so bloody calm?"

Jack held up his hands in surrender.  "One of us has to be, Ianto, because you're about ready to bolt from my office."

Ianto dropped his face into his hands.  "This was a mistake," he muttered, then pushed himself out of the seat and turned toward
the door.

Jack got up and hurried around his desk.  Letting Ianto go now would be a mistake.  Ianto had his hand on the handle when the
Captain grasped his elbow.

"Ianto, wait."  He squeezed once, then released his grip.  "Talk to me."

The younger man turned, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor between them.  His ears were pink, his cheeks flushed.  He stood
there nervously, the epitome of embarrassment.

Jack curled his fingers under Ianto's chin and tipped his head up.  Blue eyes flickered up to meet his.  "That's better," Jack
whispered, taking the opportunity to pass his thumb across those tempting lips.  To his immense pleasure, Ianto's tongue darted
out and quickly swiped across the pad of the digit.

If he could, he would have kissed Ianto then and there.  However, he didn't think Ianto would be all that receptive.  The doors of
his office were made of glass.  With them and the windows, the two of them were clearly visible to everyone outside.  
Remembering the talk they'd had in the tent out in the Brecon Beacons, he knew Ianto wanted to keep things quiet, worrying
over how the other members of the team would view their interactions.  The fact that he had discussed anything with Owen was
amazing to say the least.

Reluctantly, he slid his hand away from Ianto, clearing his throat as he did so.  "What did Owen say?"

Ianto bit his lip, but he kept his eyes focused on Jack's face.  It was a drastic improvement.

"I asked him," he swallowed nervously.  He dropped his gaze, then blinked and forced it back up, maintaining eye contact.  "He
said I could ... that we could.  There's no danger, but I should be careful."  He licked his lips, another nervous reaction.  "I do
want to have sex with you, Jack.  But I don't think I'm ready.  I know I'm not ready.  Lisa ... she's only been gone two months."

Jack found himself smiling.  It was an easy expression to maintain around the adorable Welshman.  "I've already told you I'll
wait for you and I meant it.  Stop worrying and let things happen naturally."

Ianto nodded and smiled shakily.  "It's stupid, I know.  You keep telling me ... but you're-"

"I'm not a sex-crazy fiend, Ianto," Jack said, guessing at Ianto's insecurities.  He knew he was right when Ianto looked away
again.  "I like sex, I won't lie about that.  But some things are worth the wait."  He stepped back, then blatantly raked his eyes
over that body once more.  "You most definitely are."

A fresh burst of color blossomed across Ianto's face.

The moment between them was broken when Ianto yawned widely.  The younger man politely held a hand to his mouth.  
"Sorry, Sir," he said, wiping moisture from his eyes with his other hand.

"Tired?"

"Yeah," Ianto said, yawning again.  "Do you think I could go and lie down for a bit?"

Jack brought his hand up to the other man's elbow.  "Of course you can."  He rubbed at the slightly chill skin under his hand.  
"I'll come get you for lunch."  He took a step closer to Ianto, leaning in and breathing in his delectable scent.  He felt Ianto stiffen
in response to the close proximity and grinned to himself as he reached behind the Welshman to open the door.

Ianto cleared his throat.  "Right, Sir.  I'll just be going."  He was blushing again.  Jack found it to be utterly adorable.



*****



At half-past eleven the Rift alarm went off.  Jack rushed out of his office and threw his coat on.  Tosh looked up from the
puzzle Jack had given her and brought up her programs to find out the location.  As an afterthought, she noticed that she could
only see Jack, Owen and Gwen.

"Where's Ianto?" she asked, even as her fingers hurried over the keys to pull up the needed information.

"Sleeping," Jack answered.

Owen opened his mouth, but shut it after a single look from the dashing Captain.

Tosh decided to accept the answer.  She didn't want to pester Jack.  Ianto wouldn't like her nosing into his business either.  
Instead, she gave Jack the location of the Rift opening.  He took Gwen and Owen with him and headed out.

At a quarter after one, they still hadn't returned.  Jack's voice was cheerful as he contacted her on Comms. though.  "Tosh, do
me a favor?"

"What do you need?"

"Get lunch in.  Ianto needs to eat regularly or Owen might have a conniption."

"Should I get something for you, too?"

"Nah," Jack said and she could almost hear the smile in his voice.  "It looks like we'll still be here a while.  We'll get something
on the way back.  You're a treasure, Tosh."

Tosh smiled.  "And Ianto?  You said he was sleeping?"

"In the archives.  We set up a bed for him down there.  Do you know the way to his desk?"

"Yes.  I had to go down there once.  Ianto found me in the corridor and was worried I'd gotten lost so showed me an easy way
to remember how to get to his desk."  She didn't bring up that it had been before the whole Lisa incident, so his worry might
have been more for Tosh accidentally coming across her and not being lost in the winding tunnels of the archives.

"His bed is in the same room.  Thanks, Tosh."

She made her way slowly down the dimly lit corridor, remembering the directions Ianto had given her.  In one of the file rooms,
she found his desk.  Against one wall and between two file cabinets, was a camp bed and on it was Ianto.

Tosh took a moment to look at Ianto, knowing that she couldn't be caught staring at him when he was awake.  She knew it
made him uncomfortable.  She didn't want to add to whatever distress he was already in.  Being pregnant had to be hard on him
as it was.

Ianto was sleeping on his side, his legs curled up slightly.  One of his hands was under his head, the other laying limply over his
belly.  His t-shirt had ridden up in his sleep, exposing his stomach to view.  A blanket was half on the floor and half over his
legs, probably kicked away in his sleep.  He looked so young, it tugged at her heart to see him like this.

As she took a step toward him, he groaned.  His fingers flexed against his stomach and he turned his face into the pillow, his
brow scrunching in distress.  A nightmare, she concluded, watching him shiver and take short gasping breaths.

At the next whimper, Tosh darted across the room to his side.  She reached out to him but stilled her hand a fraction from
grasping his shoulder.  Was waking him a good idea?  Another whimper and some unintelligible words made up her mind for
her.  She couldn't stand there and watch him suffer like this.

She dropped her hand on his shoulder.  "Ianto?  Wake up."

The effect was immediate.  He took in a great gasping breath and shot up to a sitting position, his eyes flying wide.  He looked
around at everything but didn't seem to see anything at all.  When he finally looked at Tosh, fear was evident in his glassy gaze.  
He blinked rapidly, the haze dissipating as he breathed heavily, his body shaking near-violently.

"Ianto?  Are you okay?"

"Tosh, I-"  His words broke away abruptly.  With very little warning, he vomited.

Tosh ignored her ruined blouse for the fact that her friend was still heaving dryly.  "Oh my God, Ianto."  She moved toward
him, placing her hands gently on his back and rubbing in slow circles.  "Should I call Owen?"

Ianto groaned, but shook his head.  "It'll pass."  Then he lurched forward again, retching onto the floor.

She stayed beside him, worrying for him.

He continued to tremble as his heaving subsided.  He wiped a shaking hand across his mouth and turned to look at Tosh blearily.  
His eyes widened at the sight of her shirt and he began to babble apologies.

"It's okay, Ianto.  It's only a shirt."  She offered a shy smile and rubbed at his back again.  "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am."  He looked away and down at the mess on the floor.  "If I get up too quickly, I get dizzy.  The morning sickness is gone,
more or less.  But, if I'm feeling under stress or ... well, this happens."  He gestured to the floor.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I just need a minute."

Tosh nodded.  She drew back, not wanting to crowd him.  "Jack and the others had to go out on a Rift Alert.  It seems to be
taking longer than initially predicted."  She smiled softly.  "Jack wanted to be sure you ate lunch.  I don't suppose you'd be in
much of a mood for food right about now."

"Actually, despite this, I'm famished."  He smiled back at her.

"Anything you want in particular?"

"A sandwich.  From that place you and Gwen went to before."

Tosh made sure to remember every detail of what he wanted, including his odd request to make sure no pickles came anywhere
near his food or even the bag that his food was put into, as they put him off eating.  They got up and walked back to the main
area of the Hub.  She went to her desk to grab her bag and stopped when Ianto called out to her.

"Oh, Tosh, you can't go out like that.  Why don't you change your shirt and I'll see if I can do anything with it while you're
gone."

Tosh looked down at herself, grimacing at the mess on her blouse.  She gave a small shrug, smiling a little more shyly.  "I don't
have another here.  I'm afraid that I forgot to bring another set this morning.  I had it set out, but my mind was on other
things."  Her guilt over Mary still weighed heavily on her mind.  That everyone was treating her normally was a blessing to her.

Ianto tutted.  He raised his arm and beckoned her toward him with a wave of his hand.  "Come on.  We'll see what we can do
about it.  I won't have you walking around like that."

Tosh giggled.  She didn't know why.  There was just something about his tone and the way he was acting toward her.  It was
comforting.  As she went to his side and walked along with him to the locker rooms, she realized that she hadn't thought about
his condition once since she had woken him.  The pregnancy changed nothing.  He was just Ianto, the same as always.  Reliable,
wonderfully Ianto.



*****



Jack sauntered into the Hub, his coat a little worse for wear.  That alien had been a bit of a mess to deal with.  Ianto wouldn't
appreciate the dark purplish bloodstains, but then they didn't have to worry about it nesting and raising a horde of young that fed
mainly on human fat cells.  They'd had a hell of a time tracking down its mate, too.

Behind him, Owen moodily followed, trailed by a softly snickering Gwen.  Perhaps it was the opaque viscous liquid coating
Owen that led to his unpleasant attitude and her mirth.  How was Jack supposed to know that shooting it dead center in the
chest would cause it to pratically explode all over his medic?

Owen declared his intention to shower and immediately headed off to do so.  Gwen sank into the chair at her workstation and
immediately began working on her report of the incident.

"So, Tosh, anything happen while we were away?"  Jack asked loudly, clapping his hands together and grinning brightly.

He was brought up short by the sight of her as she turned in her seat to face him.  That wasn't the shirt she had been wearing
when he'd left.  It was a man's shirt.  A man's dress shirt.  Ianto's dress shirt to be precise.

"Tosh, I'm afraid I couldn't get the stain out.  I'll pay for the dry cleaning," Ianto's voice called as he moved from the
kitchenette, interrupting whatever she had been about to say to Jack.  He was staring down at his hands, at the shirt that he
clutched in his fingers.  There was the shirt Tosh had been wearing earlier.

Tosh met him halfway, his shirt hanging loosely on her small frame.  It was long on her and she'd had to roll the sleeves up, but
Jack thought she looked rather attractive in it.

"Don't worry about it, Ianto.  It wasn't your fault."  She smiled at him sweetly.

"My, my," Jack's grin twisted into a leer.  "What sort of sordid activities have you two been up to this afternoon?"

Ianto raised an eyebrow.  "Wouldn't you like to know," he responded curtly, a smirk curling at his lips.  He gave Tosh a wink
and retreated back to the kitchenette, taking the shirt with him.  "Coffee, Tosh?  Gwen?"

A chorus of 'yes' and 'thank you' responded to his query.

"What about me?  Don't I get one?" Jack asked.

"Only if you behave, Sir."  Ianto replied, leaving Jack just a little bit bewildered about what had gone on, but happy to see that
Ianto was in better spirits.



To Be Continued ...