Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.
Notes: Yes, I was very cruel and evil to just leave you hanging like that, I know it. Well, I hope you’ll forgive me. Here is the
Desires and Deceptions
“Are you ready?” The morgue attendant asked, grabbing the edge of the sheet at the top of the head.
Heero gulped, his eyes catching sight of the long, wispy bangs that seemed so familiar to him. Duo has bangs like that, he idly
thought, his mind reeling at the idea that Duo could be dead and lying motionless underneath a sheet.
“Oh God . . . Please don’t let it be you, Duo.” He whispered. He nodded to the morgue attendant, ready to face this, his eyes
widening with every inch of the pale corpse that was uncovered.
He gasped, his legs buckling beneath him. If he hadn’t caught the edge of the slab with his hand, he would have fallen to the
“Is this your friend?” The morgue attendant asked, laying a hand on Heero’s shoulder.
“No.” Heero replied, exhaling a long breath. He was ecstatic that it wasn’t Duo, so happy that he felt like fainting with relief.
But within that relief was remorse, a hint of grief for the fact that a young boy still lay dead before him. He had died alone, no
friends or family to comfort him during his last moments.
Heero shook his head sadly, grieving for the loss of such a young life. He turned just as the morgue attendant place the sheet
back over the face of that young man. Then he left, pulling out his cell phone as he walked. After a brief conversation with
Une, he smiled to himself. The family of that young, deceased man would be searched for by the Preventers.
This wasn’t usually their jurisdiction . . . Preventers usually only worked on terrorist activities, and global situations. They
rarely ever butted into other areas of crime that were normally handled by the police. But Heero had convinced her that it was a
good idea. With the connections that the Preventers had, and the computer databases that they had access to, the young man
would have a name on his gravestone, someone to remember what he had been in life. If someone was looking for him, just as
Heero was looking for Duo, they would be glad he was found . . . even if he was dead. At least they would know instead of
Several hours later, Heero stumbled through the front door of Quatre's estate. He had been to four morgues . . . had seen four
different corpses that had thankfully not been Duo. Tomorrow he would check the rest of his list . . . the patients who were
Heero had deserved to look at the corpses first, to go through all the pain of wondering if it was his beloved Duo under each of
those sheets, never knowing for sure until the sheet was pulled back to reveal a stranger’s face. It was his fault . . . this whole
mess . . . he should have trusted Duo.
Tears streamed down his face as he wept with relief. At least there was a good chance that Duo was still alive. Heero let the
tears fall, not attempting to force them back.
“Mr. Yuy . . . are you okay?” A voice asked, snapping Heero back to reality.
Heero looked up, only to see the familiar face of one of the Maguanac . . . He wasn’t sure what his name was though. It didn’t
matter to Heero that this man could see him crying. Nothing mattered to him other than Duo and finding him alive and well.
“I’m fine.” He said, his voice coming out as a choked sob.
He pushed past the Maguanac, able to walk two steps before everything around him started spinning. He was vaguely aware
that his body was falling, but didn’t care. “Hang on, Duo . . . I’ll find you.” He murmured, before slipping into
Trowa opened his eyes, hearing the faint click as the bedroom door was opened. He always had been a light sleeper . . . thanks
to his training with the mercenaries. He turned his head, looking back at the door while he attempted to keep the other two in
bed from awakening.
At the sight of a Maguanac standing by the door, he became worried. None of them would come in and risk disturbing Quatre’s
sleep, unless it was something very important. The Maguanac quietly entered the room and hastily made his way over to the
bed. He leaned over, whispering in Trowa’s ear. “Mr. Yuy has just come back. He’s fainted.”
Trowa flinched, hearing that. “Put him in his room. I’ll be right there.” Trowa whispered back to the older man.
The Maguanac bowed then left the room. Trowa turned back to the two he shared a bed with. Both of them remained asleep . .
. resting peacefully. Trowa didn’t want to disturb either of them. Slowly, he disentangled himself from their arms as he slipped
out of bed.
Quatre groaned, his hands reaching out to search for Trowa. When he met only air and an empty space in bed, he rolled over
toward Wufei, curling his arms around the Chinese youth as he snuggled closer to him.
Trowa smiled at the lovely scene, watching as Wufei returned the embrace. A few stray hairs escaped his tight ponytail, falling
over his face. That slight touch against his skin was enough though, and he awakened, his eyes slowly blinking open.
“Trowa . . . what’s going on?” Wufei asked, drowsily.
“Sshh . . .” Trowa hushed, laying his fingers against Wufei’s lips while he gestured toward Quatre with his other hand. “Heero’
s come back and it seems that he’s fainted. I’m going to see how he’s doing.”
“Do you need me to come with you?” Wufei asked quietly.
“No, your presence is needed here much more.” Trowa replied, laying his hand against Quatre’s head for a moment. He then
let his hand wander, brushing those few strands of ebony hair away from Wufei’s face and tucking them behind his ear. “I
won’t be gone too long.”
Wufei silently nodded, then settled down beside Quatre again. Trowa just watched them for a moment, wondering how he had
been lucky enough to find these two beauties. He found it to be a miracle that he had Quatre’s love, but now he had Wufei’s
love as well. It was more than he ever felt himself worthy of, more then he even now thought he deserved.
Trowa turned away from them, leaving the room quickly, pushing aside his downcast thoughts for the moment. He needed to
concentrate on Heero now, not worry about his own love life. He walked through the halls and entered Heero's room. He found
the Japanese youth in bed, a worried Maguanac fussing over him. The Maguanac turned to Trowa, dropping the damp cloth he
had been holding against Heero’s forehead.
“I’ll take over from here. Wait outside. If I need you, I’ll call you.” Trowa said.
The Maguanac bowed, then hastily left.
Trowa stepped over to Heero’s bedside. He sat on the bed beside his friend, picking up the damp cloth from where the
Maguanac had dropped it. He applied the cool cloth to Heero’s forehead, every now and then dabbing at the sweat that beaded
on his skin.
Several minutes went by before Heero’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “How are you feeling?” Trowa asked.
“What happened?” Heero asked, ignoring Trowa’s question. He lifted his hand to his forehead, wincing as he groaned in
“You fainted. What did you do today?”
Heero looked up at Trowa for a moment before turning his gaze away. “I checked the morgues for Duo’s body.” He said,
swallowing once he finished talking.
Trowa felt all the blood drain from his face. “Did . . . did you find him?” Trowa asked, not sure if he wanted the answer or not.
“No. He was not among the bodies that I viewed.” Heero replied, as he pushed himself to a sitting position. He swayed
slightly, looking as if he would collapse any minute.
Trowa breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Duo was not in a morgue at least. But that still left so many possibilities as to
where he might be. Perhaps his body just hadn’t been discovered yet. Trowa shuddered, pushing that thought from his mind.
Until he found proof telling him otherwise, Trowa would believe that Duo was alive.
Heero put his hand to his head, gripping the bed sheets tightly with his other hand. Trowa reached out, catching him just before
his entire body gave out on him. “When was the last time you had something to eat, Heero?” Trowa asked, laying the Japanese
youth down on the bed.
“I haven’t had much of an appetite since the day I left for my mission.” Heero answered, rolling over onto his side to face away
“Heero, that was over three days ago!” Trowa exclaimed, his worry for his friend growing at a fast rate. He stood and walked
over to the door, pulling it open. He gestured for the Maguanac to step forward. “Bring something for Mr. Yuy to eat. But
make sure it isn’t something too substantial. It seems that he hasn’t eaten in a few days.”
“Yes, sir.” The Maguanac replied, then turned and quickly left.
Trowa returned to Heero’s bedside. He sat, then reached out and grabbed Heero’s shoulder, forcing him to roll over and face
him. Trowa gasped at the sight of tears streaking his cheeks, the redness of his eyes. It was a rare sight to see Heero Yuy
crying. Trowa shook off his initial shock, speaking calmly to him, his worry still remaining. “You shouldn’t be pushing
yourself so hard over this, Heero. And you definitely shouldn’t be skipping meals.”
“Leave me alone, Trowa.” Heero muttered, turning away again.
Trowa sighed, leaning back against the headboard. He didn’t know what to do or say. He wasn't much of a conversationalist in
the first place. Neither was Heero for that matter. Trowa just wasn’t used to trying to start conversations, or attempting to
comfort people, except with his beloved Quatre. This situation really was more Quatre’s territory, than Trowa’s.
He closed his eyes, just sitting there and waiting. He couldn’t really do anything else, not that he could think of anything
anyway. He sat there, offering companionship, a person to talk to if Heero chose to talk.
A few minutes of sitting there, and there was a knock to the door. Trowa looked up, watching as a Maguanac walked in,
carrying a tray in his hands. He laid the tray on the bedside table, before bowing and leaving.
Trowa looked over the food that the Maguanac had brought. There was a bowl of rice, and a bowl of soup, along with a glass
of water. Just small servings of each food item, which was probably a good idea considering it had been several days since
Heero had really eaten anything.
He looked at Heero, frowning when he saw the young man’s shoulders shaking. He was crying, and that upset Trowa deeply.
If this was hurting Heero enough to cry, then the young man might not want to eat. Trowa shook his head, knowing that he
had to get Heero to eat something, even just a little of what was brought to him.
“Here, I had some food made for you.” Trowa said.
“I’m not hungry.” Heero whispered, his voice wavering slightly.
Trowa shook his head, not believing that for one instant. He grabbed Heero’s shoulder, forcing him to roll over onto his back.
Heero didn’t seem to like that and he lashed out, intending to strike Trowa. However, not eating for over three days had already
left their effects on Heero’s body and Trowa was easily able to catch Heero’s fist before it collided with his face.
He dropped Heero’s fist, glaring at the other ex-pilot. “Heero, you are no good to anybody if you don’t eat!” Trowa argued,
grabbing Heero under his armpits and lifting him to a sitting position. He propped a few pillows behind Heero’s back and head,
in the hopes that it would make him more comfortable. “How can you expect to find Duo, if you are too weak to get out of
Heero looked down at the blankets. “I could get out of bed if I wanted to.” He muttered.
“No offense, Heero, but I highly doubt that. You’ve already fainted once, and judging by your body language, I think you barely
even have the energy to stay sitting up for very long.” Trowa said.
Heero closed his eyes, letting out a long breath, but didn’t deny Trowa’s words. Trowa took that as a sign that Heero was
ready to listen. “Perhaps if you start taking better care of yourself, you can continue your search of Duo.”
“I have to go out tomorrow. Even if I die trying, I’ll find him.” Heero said, turning to stare intensely at Trowa.
Trowa nodded. “And I doubt that anything I say would ever be enough to stop you. At least eat something and get some rest
tonight, before you go out and exhaust yourself again.”
“Fine.” Heero sighed.
Trowa turned and picked up the tray from the bedside table. Then he set it across Heero’s legs. He sat there and watched as
Heero ate, wanting to be sure that his friend wouldn’t just push it aside.
Heero ate everything, although he seemed to have forced himself to swallow those last few mouthfuls. By the time he finished,
his eyes were almost completely closed, his head drooping as he apparently fought off sleep.
Trowa took the tray, setting it aside. He helped Heero to lie down, arranging the pillows so that he would be more comfortable.
“Go to sleep, Heero. There’s no sense in fighting it when you obviously need the rest.” Trowa said.
Heero mumbled something inaudibly, his eyes slipping completely closed as he gave into exhaustion. Trowa grinned, brushing
Heero’s bangs back away from his face, a slight fever gaining his attention. He shook his head, sighing. Heero was making
himself sick with worry. And if Duo wasn’t found soon, Heero’s condition would probably only get worse.
Trowa left, gesturing for the Maguanac who was waiting nearby to approach. “Sit with him tonight. He’s been pushing himself
too hard and has developed a slight fever. When he awakens, make sure he eats breakfast before he leaves.”
“Yes, sir.” The Maguanac nodded, then entered the room, closing the door behind himself quietly.
Trowa returned to his own room. He reached out, ready to open the door. But he stopped, the tips of his fingers just barely
brushing the doorknob. A sudden wave of doubt entered his heart and mind. Maybe he didn’t belong in there. He already knew
that he didn’t deserve the love of those two beauties.
He backed away from the door, memories of his past intruding into his thoughts. His back hit the wall across from the door and
he let himself slide down to the floor, his body beginning to shiver as he wrapped his arms around himself. Trowa couldn’t
understand it. How could Quatre and Wufei both love him? Trowa was just a nobody . . . a nameless nothing with no past or
No . . . Wufei must only love Quatre. That was the only answer. Wufei loved Quatre and was only mistaken about his feelings
for Trowa. And now that Quatre had Wufei, there was no need for Trowa to be in the blonde’s life. Quatre would get all the
love he needed from Wufei. Perhaps Trowa should just leave now before they asked him to later.
Trowa lowered his head, burying his face in his knees. He forced back his tears, knowing that he could not allow himself to
show such weakness.
“Trowa?” A familiar voice whispered, a hand gently grasping his shoulder.
Trowa lifted his gaze slightly, just enough to see that Wufei was kneeling before him, his face expressing concern. “What are
you doing out of bed? Why did you leave Quatre?” Trowa asked.
“Quatre woke up a few moments ago. He saw that you were gone and asked me to come look for you. He seemed quite upset,
so I agreed. It looks as if he was correct in his worries.” Wufei replied.
“Leave me alone. Go back to Quatre.” Trowa mumbled, laying his head back down.
“I will not leave you alone.” Wufei argued. “And I will not go back into that room unless you are with me.” Wufei grabbed
Trowa’s wrist, tugging gently. “Come on, Trowa. You know how Quatre worries.”
Trowa didn’t move . . . didn’t reply.
“Trowa . . . let’s go!” Wufei insisted, tugging more firmly. “Trowa!”
“Stop calling me that!” Trowa shouted, shoving Wufei away from him, causing the other young man to stumble backwards and
land on his butt. Trowa rose to his feet, turning away from the stunned Chinese youth. “That’s not my name. I’m nothing . . .
Nanashi.” He muttered, almost breathlessly.
Moments went by with no words from either Trowa or Wufei. Then a hand roughly gripped Trowa’s arm, forcefully turning
him around. Before Trowa’s eyes could even lock on Wufei, his head was jerked to the side by a harsh slap to his cheek.
Trowa raised a trembling hand to his stinging cheek. He was shocked, staring wide-eyed at the smaller young man. The slap
burned like fire, partially because it had already been sore due to Relena’s earlier strike.
“Do you take me for a fool? Do you really think I care whether ‘Trowa Barton’ is your real name or not?” Wufei seethed.
Trowa flinched at Wufei’s tone, casting his gaze downward toward the floor. “I don’t deserve either of you. You’ll both leave
me once you realize that for yourselves.” Trowa whispered, letting his hand drop away from his cheek.
“Nonsense . . . I can give you a dozen reasons for why I love you . . . and none of them have to do with your name or your
past.” Wufei sighed, gently sliding his hand across Trowa’s bruised cheek. “You are kind, generous, thoughtful, considerate . .
. you care more for others than you do for yourself. I could go on and on. And you should know Quatre better than to think so
poorly of his affections.”
Trowa let a small smile cross his face. He reached up, laying his hand over Wufei’s, wincing slightly as it brought pain to his
cheek. “I’m a fool.” He said, a single tear escaping his defenses. He felt foolish for ever doubting Wufei and Quatre. He did
know them better than that. Quatre would die before ever hurting him, and Wufei was too honorable to lie to him. “I’m sorry.”
Wufei smirked. “Don’t apologize, just come back to bed. Quatre must be worried sick about the both of us by now.”
Trowa nodded silently. Wufei slid his hand into Trowa’s, waiting for a moment until Trowa hesitantly accepted the contact.
Then he gently pulled Trowa back into the room, leading him back to Quatre. Trowa kept his gaze downward, feeling so
ashamed of himself, so foolish. He was an idiot to ever doubt the two of them.
“Trowa?” Quatre’s gentle voice whispered, a warm hand brushing aside his bangs.
Trowa looked up at Quatre, only to be struck by an overwhelming amount of guilt as he stared deep into the aquamarine pools
of his angel’s eyes. Despite his attempts to keep them back, tears began to silently trail along his cheeks.
Quatre flinched, then leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Trowa’s waist. “Don’t cry, love. Everything is all right.”
Quatre whispered, holding him in a comforting embrace.
Trowa was vaguely aware that Wufei had let go of his hand, then as the Chinese youth helped him into bed. Quatre altered his
position slightly so that his embrace was higher around Trowa’s body. Everything seemed to move as a blur until he found
himself laying in bed, Quatre holding Trowa protectively in his warm arms while he continued to cry on the blonde. Trowa
slowly reached out with shaking hands, curling his arms around Quatre’s small body, nuzzling his face against the blonde’s
Warmth spread across his back, another set of arms snaking around his body to hold him, pressing Trowa even closer to Quatre’
s body. “Wufei?” He whispered, ashamed that his voice wavered the way it did.
“Sshh . . . Just rest.” Wufei hushed.
Trowa nodded ever so slightly, closing his eyes as he tightened his embrace around Quatre’s body. He sighed against Quatre’s
body, feeling the blonde lay a gentle kiss to the top of his head. He smiled, allowing himself to drift off to sleep, comforted by
the presence of the two young men in bed with him.
To Be Continued . . .