Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.
Notes: Heero takes care of Duo. Heero emotional torture, Duo suffering. Enjoy.
Desires and Deceptions
Heero awoke to the feeling of someone shaking him. He opened his eyes, blinking as he rolled over and saw Sally standing over
him. “I need your help with something.” She whispered.
Heero nodded, pushing himself to a sitting position and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He looked over, and saw that
Duo was still asleep. “What do you need?” He asked, looking up at Sally as he rubbed a hand across his tired eyes.
“I bought some groceries . . . I don’t want to use room service. They might disturb Duo and that’s the last thing he needs at
the moment.” Sally replied, speaking quietly.
Heero didn’t reply. He just got up and followed Sally out of the room, taking one last glance back at Duo before he walked out.
He sighed, knowing that it would have been easy for Sally to have let the hotel staff bring the groceries up, but probably hadn’t
wanted to risk them bothering Duo, just as she had said about her choice not to use room services.
It didn’t take too long. Sally really hadn’t bought all that much. And in just a few short minutes, Heero had brought up the bags
and had put all of the perishable items away. As Heero had been putting the groceries away, Sally had returned to the room
where Duo slept, getting his various medications ready and setting the bottles on the table beside his bed along with a glass of
As Heero walked back into the room where Duo slept, Sally walked out. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Keep an eye on him.”
“Of course.” Heero replied, once again taking a seat on his bed, facing Duo.
He just watched Duo, not even realizing the passage of time. Before he knew it, Sally had walked back into the room, a plate of
food and a drink in her hands. “Here.” She said, holding them out to Heero.
“What’s this?” Heero asked, blinking as he took the offered plate and glass. He looked down at the sandwich resting atop the
plate and the glass of milk.
“Heero, I want you to eat something.” Sally said. “It won’t do Duo any good if you starve yourself.”
Heero nodded, sighing. “Okay.”
“I’m going to my room now, to get a little rest. If you need me for anything, come and get me. When Duo awakens, tell me . .
. I want to be here to make sure he takes his medication.”
“Yes, of course.” Heero replied, staring down at the food. He set the glass of milk aside, and took a bite of his sandwich,
knowing that Sally was watching him. She must have wanted to make sure he did eat something before she left. It was kind of
her to show such concern for him.
Heero was hungry, so even after Sally left the room, he continued to eat, taking quick glances over at Duo’s sleeping form every
now and then. He just wanted to be sure that Duo was all right. The beautiful American had suffered enough as it was . . . he
didn’t need to suffer any more.
Heero had just swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, having washed it down with some milk, when he looked once again to
Duo’s bed. Duo shifted in his sleep, the blankets covering his body sliding down, almost to his waist, revealing the bandages
that nearly covered his entire body. Heero’s stomach flipped, seeing all of that gauze surrounding his lover's body, wishing that
he hadn’t been such an idiot all those days ago. Duo wouldn’t be hurt if Heero hadn’t been such a fool.
Duo shifted again, wincing as a whimper of pain escaped his tightly closed lips. Specks of blood began to soak through the
gauze on his arms, dark splotches of crimson liquid staining the pure whiteness of the bandages. It was more than Heero could
take. He sprang to his feet and rushed to the bathroom.
He quickly dropped to his knees in front of the toilet, leaning over just in time as he vomited the food that he had just consumed.
Seeing Duo in so much pain, and knowing that it was all Heero’s own fault left him feeling queasy, his stomach doing
somersaults as he continued to retch, even after there was nothing remaining in his stomach.
He felt the hot tears trailing from his eyes, but this time didn’t hold them back, letting the searing wetness course from his weary
eyes. He sobbed, laying his forehead against the cool surface of the toilet. This was all his own fault and he knew it. He didn’t
deserve Duo’s love . . . he never had.
After allowing the tears to spill forth for several long minutes, Heero heard Duo’s fearful voice calling out to him. “H-Heero?”
Duo asked, his voice sounding weak.
Heero took a breath, not wanting Duo to hear the pain in his voice. “I’ll be right there, Duo.” Heero said, quickly brushing
away his tears as he rose to his feet. He flushed the toilet, then walked over to the sink, turned on the faucet and leaned over to
splash some water on his face. As he stood up straight again, he caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror on the
medicine cabinet. “Duo has his own problems right now. He doesn’t need mine.” Heero mumbled to himself, knowing it to be
true. He couldn’t burden Duo with his own troubles, it just wouldn’t be right.
Sighing, Heero opened the medicine cabinet, reaching in and grabbing a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash. He removed the
plastic seal around the cap, then took off the cap itself. He took a swig of the minty fresh liquid, swishing it around in his mouth
for a bit before he spit it out into the sink, rinsing it down the drain with the water that still flowed. Sighing once again, he
turned off the water and put the remainder of the mouthwash back into the cabinet, heading out of the room to see what Duo
He frowned when he looked down at Duo, seeing how scared the young man appeared. “Are you okay?” Heero asked, kneeling
down beside the bed, but pushing back his urge to reach out and stroke a hand along Duo’s arm to calm him. He just didn’t
think that Duo would appreciate such contact at the moment . . . at least not from Heero.
Duo looked at him, fear and trepidation crossing his face. He looked hesitant to speak, and when he finally did open his mouth
his voice came out quavering. “I-I’m bored.” He whispered, a tiny smirk making a hint of an appearance on his bruised face.
Heero nodded. “Well, Sally told me to go and get her when you awakened, so I must leave for a few moments. But after she
sees to your medical needs, I will be happy to amuse you in some way. Is that okay with you?” Heero replied, trying to remain
calm even though self-hatred boiled within him.
“Y-yes.” Duo agreed, fidgeting and toying with the blanket that covered most of him.
Heero slowly stood and left, taking numerous glances back at Duo before he departed the room. It was obvious that Duo was
afraid and nervous . . . Heero hated leaving his side even for an instant. He quickly crossed over to the bedroom that was on the
opposite end of the suite, the one that Sally occupied. He knocked, then quietly entered, sighing when he saw that Sally was
asleep on the large bed across from the door.
He approached the bed and gently shook her shoulder, trying to rouse her gently. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
“Yes, Heero?” She asked, yawning.
“Duo’s awake.” Heero stated simply.
Sally quickly got up and out of bed, rushing past Heero in a sprint to the other bedroom. Heero followed behind her, although
not at such a brisk pace. As Heero reentered the bedroom where Duo was now sitting in bed, he stood at the doorway and
listened in on the conversation.
“How are you feeling, Duo?” Sally asked, laying a gentle hand against the side of Duo’s head.
Duo sniffled, then reached out, wrapping his arms around Sally as he buried his face against her body. “Not so good.” He
replied, his voice catching in his throat.
Once again, Heero felt pain stabbing at his heart, watching as the one he loved most hugged Sally when he wouldn’t even touch
Heero in any way. He knew he deserved it though . . . he deserved Duo to hate him, to despise everything about him. Once
again his stomach flipped, and he placed his hand against his stomach, trying to push aside the feeling. He just didn’t want to
vomit in front of Sally and Duo. Then they’d be concerned about him, and he didn’t deserve their pity, didn’t deserve to be
cared for any more . . . not when he had hurt Duo so badly.
“Duo . . . I need to give you some medicine. Okay?” Sally asked, as she gently helped Duo to sit back again, propping up a few
pillows behind his back to make him more comfortable.
Duo nodded. “Yes, okay.” He said quietly.
“Okay. Do you want to take your medicine as pills, or will you allow me to administer them with an IV?” Sally asked as she
gestured to the numerous bottles that were set on the table beside Duo’s bed. “Either way, I’m going to need you to take a few
Duo took a moment to consider, his emotions warring across his features. He looked unsure of what he should answer, fear
and uncertainty clear in his eyes. “I-I’d prefer an IV.” He whispered. “It would probably be easier than taking all of those pills.”
Sally smiled. “That’s right, Duo. It would be easier. I wouldn’t have to wake you up if I need to give you some medicine.”
She brushed her fingers through his bangs lightly, then reached over and opened a few of the bottles that were on the table. She
held the pills, that she had taken out of those bottles, to Duo, picking up the glass of water she had left in the room earlier, with
her free hand.
Duo took them one by one, Sally helping him by holding the glass of water for him. He just didn’t look strong enough to do it
himself. “Thank you.” Duo said, once he had swallowed the last pill.
“I'll go and get that IV now. You just stay here and try to relax.” Sally said, rising from her seat beside Duo.
While Sally was gone, Heero continued to watch Duo, not moving any closer or farther away to the young man that he loved.
Duo stared down at the sheets, never once meeting Heero’s concerned gaze. They were both silent. The tension was almost
visible in the room.
Sally returned, wheeling along an IV hanger. She set it up, hanging the pouch from the hanger, then took hold of Duo’s hand,
telling him once again to relax as he pressed the needle into skin. “There, that wasn’t so bad.” Sally said, trying to be soothing
as she taped the IV down to his hand and then taping it again so that the tube was fixed against his forearm.
“Heero, I want you to keep an eye on this. If it starts getting low and I’m not here, you let me know.” Sally said.
“Yes, I will.” Heero answered quietly.
“If either of you need me for anything, call for me.” Sally said, smiling just before she left the room once again.
As soon as Sally was gone, Heero stepped further into the room. “I said I would entertain you. Would you object to a game of
cards?” Heero asked.
Duo nodded. “Cards are fine.” He replied, quietly.
Heero searched around the room until he found a deck of cards, then he approached Duo’s bedside. He knelt on the floor,
peeling the plastic from off of the deck. “What would you like to play? Poker? Rummy? Go Fish? Solitaire?” Heero asked,
hoping Duo’s answer wouldn’t be for the last suggestion.
“I-I like Go Fish.” Duo replied, a small smile gracing his features briefly.
Heero nodded. He removed the jokers and the other useless cards, setting them aside with the wrapping he had pulled off. Then
he shuffled and dealt out the first hand, grateful that Duo would want to play cards with him.
To Be Continued . . .