Disclaimers:  I own nothing, not Gundam Wing or this song.

Notes:  It’s a 1+2 fic, not very happy.  The song is “Time Ago”  By Black Lab.  

Time Ago

//I watch your window for hours.//

Heero stood outside a house, staring up at one of the windows.  It was Duo’s bedroom, a room he had spent so many times in.  
So many passionate embraces, so many loving caresses from the long-haired pilot he had loved so much.  Heero didn’t know
how long he had stood there, didn’t really care one way or the other if someone called the police because he was just standing
there, staring up at a darkened window.  He only hoped that Duo would not look out and see him there.

//Moon has set down without us.//

He looked over at the sky, and saw that the moon was gone. It had set hours ago.  They used to enjoy watching it so much, at
least Duo had, but in truth, as long as Duo was around Heero had been happy.  But all of that was over now.  Never again would
Heero feel those wonderful arms around his body.  He wouldn’t hear the glorious laugh from Duo, or see the way Duo’s eyes
sparkled with every smile.  It was all over now, Heero had been so foolish.  

//All by ourselves,
riding in the front seat, watch the sun come up.
All by ourselves we would run.//

Memories flooded his mind.  All the times they had spent the night together, just driving, then watching as the sun rose in the
eastern sky.  Just being near Duo had made him happy, had made him think he could start to express his emotions.

It was so long ago.
Remember, Baby?
It was a long time ago.//

It had been over a year, over a year since he had last been near Duo.  So long since their last embrace, so long since that last
horrible fight.  He wondered if Duo still remembered all they had shared, all the happiness they had together.  

//Feel your hand close beside me.
Hear the highway behind me.//

The sound of cars passing behind him, didn’t deter his attention.  His eyes remained fixed on the window above him.  He could
still feel the touch of Duo’s hand on his, the warmth in his soft skin.  The heat of the American’s breath, just a memory, but still
causing the hairs on the back of Heero’s neck to stand on end.

//All by ourselves,
we made love under the sleeping moonless night.
All by ourselves we would run.//

The night they had spent outside, under the shimmering stars, with no moon in sight, came flooding back to his mind.  Duo had
teased him, dragging him to a clearing in the woods on one of Quatre’s many estates.  Duo at first running away from him in a
flirtatious game of tag, then Heero tackling him to the ground to cover him in kisses.  

There was the memory of Duo’s lithe body under him, the moans from the other pilot’s mouth as Heero sought pleasure in his
body, giving pleasure in return.  The memory of that euphoric smile on Duo’s lips, and the way he screamed out Heero’s name
in the heat of passion, brought tears to Heero’s eyes.  

It was so long ago.
Remember, Baby?
It was a long time ago.//

Heero hoped that was a memory Duo had kept, one of their happy times together, one of the good memories.  There were so
few of them left in his own mind now, so few things he could look back on happily.

//I couldn’t stop you from crying.
Or stop myself from fighting back.
I tried but never hard enough.//

The happy memories left as quickly as they had come, only to be replaced by painful ones.  How foolish he had been, yelling at
Duo when he had done nothing wrong, all the times he had called him stupid names out of frustration.  

Duo had begun crying the last time, their last fight.  Heero truthfully didn’t know what to do, so he left, deciding it would be
better if he left.  If only he had tried harder, maybe he could have been able to express his emotions when not in bed with Duo.  
That was all the American had wanted, an acknowledgment that he was more to Heero than just a toy to be used by him, a roll
in the sack and nothing more.  

But Heero fought his own emotions, thinking that if he gave in, he’d only open himself up to heartache, to misery and pain.  He
should have said something, instead of leaving, should have done something.  But he hadn’t, he had just left, never looking back
until now.

//Don’t you remember, love?
Don’t you remember?
Do you? Do you?//

Did Duo remember that night?  It was probably the only memory left of Heero now.  He would just be remembered as the man
that had broken Duo’s heart, the fool that had just walked away from him when he had needed him the most.  Now it was too
late, far too late.

//All by myself,
I can see it like it’s right before my eyes.
All by myself time goes by.//

Time went by, the months, a year.  Still, all Heero could think about was Duo, and how stupid he had been.  Heero could still see
everything as if it was just happening now.


“What am I to you, Heero?  Do I mean anything, or am I just some sex toy to you?”  Duo asked, his eyes brimming with unshed

Heero reached out, wanting to touch Duo, but Duo recoiled away from him, still waiting for an answer.  Heero had nothing to
say, no words to express himself properly.  He couldn’t let the emotions out, couldn’t make himself vulnerable to heartache,
grief, and all those others that would come if Duo ever rejected him, or left him, or even if he died.  Fear kept him from relaying
his true emotions, from expressing his heartfelt love.

“Leave!”  Duo shouted, the tears falling freely from his anger-filled eyes.  “Get out!”  He yelled, turning away from Heero, his
shoulders shaking from his sobs.

Heero took a step toward him, then sighed.  No, he couldn’t do it, couldn’t say what he wanted to say, to proclaim his feelings.  
He wouldn’t open the floodgate of emotions within himself.  Heero turned and left.

End of Flashback

It was so long ago.
Remember, Baby?
It was a long time ago.
Remember, Baby?//

Duo probably did remember that.  It was most likely the last thought he had if he ever thought of Heero.

Heero turned, walking away from the house.  He had been such a fool, such an idiot for ever leaving Duo.  If only he could
change the past, if only he could make things right again.  He would do anything if only to be wrapped in Duo’s loving embrace
once more, to be loved by the American once again.  Without Duo, everything seemed so cold and empty, the world held no
meaning to Heero anymore without Duo.  Maybe with time, he could repair the damage he had done.  Well, only time would tell.

The End